Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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