sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
third nipple confirmed
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Randomize
