Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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