I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
