im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
