I hate your face
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize