people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
