Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
