Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
