i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Pants are for mortals
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
