is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
