you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Boobs speak an international language.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
