my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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