so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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