Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
