break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
