Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
