it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Sorry about my life...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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