she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think your dad took our porno
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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