as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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