Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
