I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just googled if crying burns calories
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
