I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
