i already hear my dad disowning me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We got so high we made milksteak
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
