But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize