Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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