So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
