I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
