just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
