No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
