I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
