the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
