I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
