Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
