no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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