then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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