Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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