so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
