I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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