the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
