dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
