Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
