I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
