More tranny stories later!
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
