Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
