Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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