i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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