is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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