I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
