Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
