redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
