If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize