i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
