I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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