he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
