Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
