you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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