Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He passed out mid-signature
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
