**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
