Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
