i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
try to milk me bitch
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
