Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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