yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
