if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
