the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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