Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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